Two years later after her death my life was a mess. I was working a crappy job in a factory during the week and as a bouncer on weekends. I was back writing lyrics and poems to try to clear my head but it never lasted. I was also taking prozac and I didn't notice a difference but the people around me said they did so I kept taking it. Long after that last dream and the phone calls stopped even though I knew what happened the analytical side of me still needed validation. It was almost a type of denial. The dreams and the phone calls weren't the only thing that happened there were seemingly unrelated things as well.
It seemed like I felt things that made the hair on my arms stand up. I blew it off to watching too many scary movies and freaking myself out like a moron. One night I had been out drinking but not too much. I was staying out in the suburbs in this subdivision. I was driving this Chevy Corsica that was on it's last legs pulling into the circle. I got to the end of the small road before I turned left to drive around my car went dead. I was on a small hill putting it in neutral while trying to steer with the door open and one foot sticking out trying to push this car. It was not working out at all I just couldn't get up the hill. Then I felt this bright light behind me and turned to look. This black car came out of nowhere I mean it's a small road you can see lights for a couple miles it was 2 am in the morning pitch dark. It was as if these people had been driving with the lights off and turned them on when they got behind me. The light was really bright but I saw these two guys walking towards me both taller than me and kind of thin. They were both wearing caps but even when they got close I couldn't tell what either one looked like. One asked if I was having car trouble and I said yes it wouldn't crank at all and I can't get over this hill. I still couldn't get over them standing right there but not being able to see any facial features a cap doesn't give that much shadow it was just weird. They asked if I lived around there and I said yes I'm just around the circle over there and pointed to my house. They told me to get in and steer and they would both just push me home. It seemed pretty damned generous I mean it was like a quarter of a mile and I asked if they were sure and the guy said yes the other one never spoke. They didn't even turn their car off the lights or anything they just left it all running and I got in the car and they began to push. They pushed me right up to the front door and I got out of the car right by the porch light but still couldn't see their faces looking directly at them. I looked down the road at an angle and could still see that care down there running with the lights on bright. I'm sure the neighbors were going to be pissed. I thanked them for helping me and offered them something to drink but they said they had to go. I watched them as they walked down the driveway towards the mailbox while I got my keys. I looked down for just a split second to put the key in the door and looked back but they were gone they never made it to the end of the driveway just gone. I looked down the road and the car was gone. They couldn't have made it to the car that quick it should've taken at least 2 or 3 minutes not a half second. Even if they could it still didn't make logical sense who just happens to be on the same road at 2 am for no apparent reason. Obviously they didn't live around there because they were gone. With the phone calls and this I had to get to the bottom of it either this was some type of phenomenon or I was going crazy and needed help.
I didn't sleep at all that night I sat up thinking about everything until it was time for the bookstore to open. I got there looking on the shelves for something about paranormal science. I didn't want some book about a ghost story I needed something that would give me some answers. I saw a book called The Encyclopedia of Ghosts and Spirits by Rosemary Ellen Guilley. It had all that stuff in there about Amityville and all that but it had a definition section too. It was a very thick book so I bought it instead of just loitering taking hours to find the thing, I hate it when people do that it's kind of like stealing to me. I took it home and started pouring through it. The closest thing I could find about the latest incident was an old folk tale about the grateful dead(no not the band). The story is part of many cultures but the basic premise is a traveler happens up on a corpse presumably because the person's family could not pay for the burial. The traveler pays for the proper burial then sometime in the future when the person is in need the spirit comes back in some form and helps them. I never saw a corpse or paid for a funeral so it didn't really fit to me but whatever they were they weren't human the way we know humans to be. No one can disappear like that car and all into thin air. Then again maybe they served another purpose. Their appearance got me to digging. I never found out what really happened with them but I found something else in that book. A phenomenon called phone calls from the dead. Right there in print it documented instances all over the world of the dead calling people for up to two years after their death and the connection being bad and in audible. Yes it actually said two years right there in the print. I had thought it quietly to myself not allowing myself to believe it but now seeing it right there in print documented in other places sent a euphoria over me. We couldn't all be crazy. What was she trying to tell me? Was she trying to tell me it was alright and then finally done it in a dream? Did my dream close the door on something? Why did this happen and is there a greater truth that I could learn from it because there had to be something more to it. In a way I was happy but in another way I was more confused than ever. I started to think negative thoughts again. I was never a really happy person I never liked myself very much didn't think I was strong enough on the inside. I doubted myself all the time. If our bond was this tight what if she was meant to be the one for me and now she was dead. Would I have to spend the rest of my life alone? Dying alone was always my biggest fear. I couldn't really tell if I was unhappy because I felt so alone or if I was alone because I was always so unhappy. I hoped someday I would find the answer to why this was happening but until then I decided I was going to fight for my sanity. If I couldn't have the woman I wanted at least I could be the man I wanted to be. I went to the medicine cabinet and got my prozac and threw it in the garbage.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Hell, Heaven, and Earth In A Week Part 3:The Conclusion
I'm not even sure what time I woke up I think it was around 11 am. It was friday morning and that damn sun was bright. Wayne was up and already dressed so I had to hurry up and do the same. I was starving I'd driven all the way down to Pensacola from Athens,AL and forgot to eat. I didn't eat last night either when I was drinking all that crap. I like white russians but they start to taste too sweet after awhile. They can make you sick if you aren't careful. Wayne had gotten this blingin Lincoln SUV from that rental place and I wasn't going to have to drive anywhere down there. I always hate driving when I don't know where shit is I feel like an idiot. Plus since I'm not concentrating on the road I can spend that time pointing at other people and saying things like,"look at that idiot they must not know where shit is down here."
Stepping out onto the third floor I could see the ocean. It was beautiful I never get tired of looking at it. I was going to have to walk across the road and take a walk on the beach while the sun was still out. There's just something about the ocean that made me feel at peace. A deep peace not one of those shallow ones I swear the view made the whole drive worthwhile I could party at home. Well, then again I couldn't right now because everything was destroyed and what wasn't destroyed didn't have any power anyway.
We hopped in the Lincoln and headed to some place pretty much looked like a school lunch line. The setup looked bad but the food was supposedly really good. I know I got a couple sausage biscuits and some hash browns. Think I got some eggs too. The point is I ate alot and went back for seconds I was really hungry. I got to talking to Wayne to figure out the plan. Wayne always had a plan he had more game than game. He wasn't going to be down there just to sit in a hotel room he was there to do some damage. That was right up my alley. He said he was thinking about heading over to Perdido Key he had a friend there that had been asking him to come to the grand opening of their bar. Apparently they were opening a bar across the road from Florabama. I'd never been to Florabama either and it was kind of famous. They had this thing there every year called "The Mullet Toss." Apparently a mullet is a fish and Florabama is right on the state line between Alabama and Florida. People take these fish and stand on one side of that line and see how far they can throw it into the next state and the winner gets something. Other than the satisfaction of being the most redneck mother fucker in two states I don't know what that something would be but I was pretty sure I was going to enter that contest one of these days just for the hell of it.
We finished eating and went over to the boardwalk and walked around. We didn't care anything about going into any of the bars we just wanted to look at all the half naked women hanging out. Sometimes they were hanging out literally which was more of a plus. We left there to take something to his daughter who goes to college down there then headed back for the hotel. It had been pretty hot outside and I was still feeling a little tired so I laid the seat all the way back and just closed my eyes for a moment as we drove down the highway. That's when I started to feel it and a sense of doom came over my body. It had been awhile since I felt it but I recognized it. There was no use fighting it I was on the edge of something epic and it was going too happen.
I smiled and opened my eyes and looked over at Wayne and calmly said,"Hey Wayne I'm about to blow chunks big time." He replied,"Are you fucking serious?" I smiled and turned my head to the right and leaned over and opened the door. I could here him in some kind of panic but wasn't paying too much attention. I blew like a volcano it was as epic as I thought it would be and more. Hit part of the door frame though which I was trying to avoid. The best part of it all was that we were in the left lane. Yes that's right folks blowing chunks into traffic on a friday morning on the highway at about 60mph. I could here the horns blowing and people cursing. It was hard to vomit and laugh at the same time but I was going for it. Wayne was struggling to change lanes. Later someone one ask me if I hit any cars to which I fondly replied,"My friend, I hit many many cars." I didn't know any of these people fuck them I was aiming for grills. I fucked up more grills than Mike Tyson all the while thinking how good those hash browns tasted coming up too. I got to enjoy breakfast twice and the second time was free. You gotta love a good deal.
Eventually Wayne got the lanes changed and the eruption stopped. He made the brilliant observation that my head was stronger than my arms because I blew right through my fingers. I was a mess and the SUV was going to need a washing. He found a gas station with an outdoor bathroom and I cleaned as best I could first the SUV with handi-wipes then myself in the bathroom. I wasn't actually clean but I was functional to walk around. Next we found a car wash down the road and sent the SUV through immediately. Of course I paid for it I mean if you do the crime you do the time right? Plus playing Spy Hunter on the highway with my mouth was worth paying the $30. Then we went back to the hotel the lady downstairs that washed all the bedsheets and stuff would wash your clothes too if you tipped her well so I changed clothes and took mine down. Then worked on my laptop for a few while they got done. Wayne said screw it and took a nap.
Stepping out onto the third floor I could see the ocean. It was beautiful I never get tired of looking at it. I was going to have to walk across the road and take a walk on the beach while the sun was still out. There's just something about the ocean that made me feel at peace. A deep peace not one of those shallow ones I swear the view made the whole drive worthwhile I could party at home. Well, then again I couldn't right now because everything was destroyed and what wasn't destroyed didn't have any power anyway.
Photo taken by me from the back of The Docks bar during the daytime while drinking some Bushwhackers
We hopped in the Lincoln and headed to some place pretty much looked like a school lunch line. The setup looked bad but the food was supposedly really good. I know I got a couple sausage biscuits and some hash browns. Think I got some eggs too. The point is I ate alot and went back for seconds I was really hungry. I got to talking to Wayne to figure out the plan. Wayne always had a plan he had more game than game. He wasn't going to be down there just to sit in a hotel room he was there to do some damage. That was right up my alley. He said he was thinking about heading over to Perdido Key he had a friend there that had been asking him to come to the grand opening of their bar. Apparently they were opening a bar across the road from Florabama. I'd never been to Florabama either and it was kind of famous. They had this thing there every year called "The Mullet Toss." Apparently a mullet is a fish and Florabama is right on the state line between Alabama and Florida. People take these fish and stand on one side of that line and see how far they can throw it into the next state and the winner gets something. Other than the satisfaction of being the most redneck mother fucker in two states I don't know what that something would be but I was pretty sure I was going to enter that contest one of these days just for the hell of it.
We finished eating and went over to the boardwalk and walked around. We didn't care anything about going into any of the bars we just wanted to look at all the half naked women hanging out. Sometimes they were hanging out literally which was more of a plus. We left there to take something to his daughter who goes to college down there then headed back for the hotel. It had been pretty hot outside and I was still feeling a little tired so I laid the seat all the way back and just closed my eyes for a moment as we drove down the highway. That's when I started to feel it and a sense of doom came over my body. It had been awhile since I felt it but I recognized it. There was no use fighting it I was on the edge of something epic and it was going too happen.
I smiled and opened my eyes and looked over at Wayne and calmly said,"Hey Wayne I'm about to blow chunks big time." He replied,"Are you fucking serious?" I smiled and turned my head to the right and leaned over and opened the door. I could here him in some kind of panic but wasn't paying too much attention. I blew like a volcano it was as epic as I thought it would be and more. Hit part of the door frame though which I was trying to avoid. The best part of it all was that we were in the left lane. Yes that's right folks blowing chunks into traffic on a friday morning on the highway at about 60mph. I could here the horns blowing and people cursing. It was hard to vomit and laugh at the same time but I was going for it. Wayne was struggling to change lanes. Later someone one ask me if I hit any cars to which I fondly replied,"My friend, I hit many many cars." I didn't know any of these people fuck them I was aiming for grills. I fucked up more grills than Mike Tyson all the while thinking how good those hash browns tasted coming up too. I got to enjoy breakfast twice and the second time was free. You gotta love a good deal.
Eventually Wayne got the lanes changed and the eruption stopped. He made the brilliant observation that my head was stronger than my arms because I blew right through my fingers. I was a mess and the SUV was going to need a washing. He found a gas station with an outdoor bathroom and I cleaned as best I could first the SUV with handi-wipes then myself in the bathroom. I wasn't actually clean but I was functional to walk around. Next we found a car wash down the road and sent the SUV through immediately. Of course I paid for it I mean if you do the crime you do the time right? Plus playing Spy Hunter on the highway with my mouth was worth paying the $30. Then we went back to the hotel the lady downstairs that washed all the bedsheets and stuff would wash your clothes too if you tipped her well so I changed clothes and took mine down. Then worked on my laptop for a few while they got done. Wayne said screw it and took a nap.
Spy Hunter by Sunsoft
was kinda like this cept in a car and it was me
While Wayne was out I walked across the road to the beach. It was packed there was something big going on there that weekend but I wasn't sure what it was I noticed Sandshakers was already packed when I came out of the hotel. I managed to find a spot though that didn't have that many people. I took my shoes off and let the sand get between my toes and picked it up with my hands. I felt a cool breeze come up out of nowhere and smiled. I felt really good and relaxed. I'd been stressed out for awhile and I always felt better coming down here or even going to the lake for that matter. I just sat there in the sand for a little while. Then the phone rang it was Wayne his friend Steve had called again and we were going to head over to Perdido Key for that bar opening. I headed over there and my pants were done so I grabbed those and paid the lady and off we went.
How could you not love being in this place it's heaven on earth
We got lost a few times but we had plenty of time it was still pretty early it was only around 4 pm. As we pulled into Perdido Key we started looking for Florabama because Steve said this place was across the road from it. Must have been on a small peninsula because both sides of the road had an ocean view. I kept looking at the condos as we drove passed. This area was the best I quietly promised myself someday I'm going to have one off those condos. I was going to have my peace away from all the drama I had to deal with in my life and all the shit back home.
Check out those condos on the beach
We found Florabama and sure enough Happy Harbor was across the road kind of off in some gravel. We found a parking spot and walked over. Wayne recognized Steve's girlfriend and introduced me. A very pretty lady and seemed really nice. She was outside with two other badass girls selling crawfish plates. Wayne had never had crawfish before but I'd ate it over a Shrevport a few years earlier and I liked it as long as it was spicy. I'm all about the spicy stuff. The girls got him to try one and he couldn't admit he liked it because it was looking at him. You wouldn't believe this plate you got for 10 bucks. You got this whole thing full of fresh crawfish( they were boiling them alive literally right beside us they were that fresh). You also got the corn cooked in the crab boil and this huge ass connecuh sausage. I got a plate and since I was friends with Wayne they gave it to me for free. I told ya the man has cred. About that time Steve pulled up. I'd heard about Steve and what a great guy he was Steve was a WWE wrestler he did the house shows. Wrestled in Japan and all that stuff. He gets out of this convertible with his hair in a ponytail and no shirt wearing a surrong and flip flops. Yes you read that right he was wearing a surrong. He was also about 6'5 and was pretty much built like a WWE wrestler with no bodyfat. Pretty intimidating dude I mean I'm not a small guy but he made me look like Tatu off fantasy island. Wayne was right though he was a really cool guy couldn't have been a nicer dude. He gave us a tour of the bar man it was kick ass. There was a dock on back where people just pulled up in boats and came in there were girls sitting up and the bar drinking wearing two piece thongs. If i hadn't already thought I was in heaven I would have thought it now. Shit when I die I want to go to this place. We sat around and I picked Steve's brain a little bit I used to watch wrestling and had to ask about some of my favorites wonder who was really a dickhead and who wasn't. I was happy learn Steve Austin was just a down to earth good ol boy from Texas. I used to love to watch that guy I want to slam a beer and whoop somebody's ass just thinking about it. Since it was just across the road we walked over to Florabama it cost $10 to get in and the beer was way overpriced. We walked through it with Steve and it was cool. Still had a bunch of half naked women and a band playing on every floor. It was ok but I actually think I liked Happy Harbor better I enjoyed the more laid back vibe there. We walked back over there. Steve wanted to party but we couldn't drive back to Pensacola drunk so we were looking for a hotel in the area so we could just stay there. Steve had told us if he knew ahead of time he could've got us one of those condos for free but this was a spur of the moment thing. Wayne said he was up for it but I have a feeling Steve knew better. We were going to go to the hotel in Pensacola and get our stuff and come back. That was the plan until we got back to the SUV. There I found out what Steve already figured. We weren't coming back it was too far to drive and there wasn't a hotel close enough.
We hadn't seen Janelle over at the Docks anyway and I'd hate to be down there and not see how she was doing. we got her a plate to go and went over there when we got back to the hotel. I honestly don't know how the Docks stays open there's hardly ever anyone in there. I chose not to drink that night I just wasn't in the mood for it after playing Spy Hunter on the highway but I think I may have had one or two bushwhackers. There were a few of the regulars in there it bothered me because they were smoking but the restaurant was open air so it wasn't as bad as Sandshakers where you just had to breath it. I think we left around 1 am and walked over to the hotel it was a pretty eventful day.
The next morning Wayne's power was on back in Hartselle so I wouldn't get to stay the weekend I hated to leave but that was my free room so I didn't have much of a choice. He was going to go to Columbus,GA for a night but I wasn't feeling it. We followed each other on the interstate then separated at Montgomery when I kept going north. The drive back was pretty uneventful I mostly listened to the cd player it was dead in the middle of the day and I tend to think better at night. I had alot of things on my plate with upcoming seminars and other opportunities. I felt like I had the means to get where I needed and now I had a goal set. I was going to have one of those condos. Not because of the status but because of the location and the peace of mind with all those great people. They had what they wanted they didn't have to prove shit to anybody. This gave me my direction.
I wondered what I was driving into back home the storms did alot of damage. Would there still be the carnage I left? I made it home about about 6 hours on the road and stopped by my parents first. Things seemed to be getting back to normal I called and found out the WiFi was back on at the apartment so I went over there. I think I just sat around watching the news on saturday and sunday. I saw where President Obama came down and toured the disaster areas. FEMA had set up a location in town and people weren't fighting for gas as bad. I just felt like I was on the verge of something and I still have that feeling like something is just barely out of my reach. I saw on the internet where Knuckleheads over in huntsville was open on the patio only. I have no idea how because that whole county was still out of power from when the nuclear plant took a direct hit. They said they had wings too. I thought about going the Sunday but said screw it and just sat around and thought a little more. The next day I saw the same thing on facebook and I was tired of sitting so I got in the car and took off. On the way I past by the church I went to as a child it was the church where I was baptized. It was a pile of planks completely wiped off the face of the earth there was nothing left everything was destroyed. As I got into Madison police were still out directing traffic because the lights still didn't work.
If nothing worked how the hell was this place open? I got there and I could see people on the patio drinking. I walked inside and it was nothing but darkness they didn't have power at all. However what they did have was alot of ice and cold beer in it. Somehow they were making wings and fries but not sure how they were doing it. Cold beer is cold beer and that was good enough for me. Life gave them lemons and they made lemonade. They had something they wanted to do bad enough and they came up with a way to do it. They had a patio full of people and only one waitress. Stefanie came in to work on her birthday. Working on your birthday sucks but when you want to make money a night with no competition is good too. It was a beautiful monday as I looked out over the highway finally coming back down to earth. I picked up that cold beer and took a sip as I laid back in my seat. Then I knew everything was going to be alright.
The next morning Wayne's power was on back in Hartselle so I wouldn't get to stay the weekend I hated to leave but that was my free room so I didn't have much of a choice. He was going to go to Columbus,GA for a night but I wasn't feeling it. We followed each other on the interstate then separated at Montgomery when I kept going north. The drive back was pretty uneventful I mostly listened to the cd player it was dead in the middle of the day and I tend to think better at night. I had alot of things on my plate with upcoming seminars and other opportunities. I felt like I had the means to get where I needed and now I had a goal set. I was going to have one of those condos. Not because of the status but because of the location and the peace of mind with all those great people. They had what they wanted they didn't have to prove shit to anybody. This gave me my direction.
I wondered what I was driving into back home the storms did alot of damage. Would there still be the carnage I left? I made it home about about 6 hours on the road and stopped by my parents first. Things seemed to be getting back to normal I called and found out the WiFi was back on at the apartment so I went over there. I think I just sat around watching the news on saturday and sunday. I saw where President Obama came down and toured the disaster areas. FEMA had set up a location in town and people weren't fighting for gas as bad. I just felt like I was on the verge of something and I still have that feeling like something is just barely out of my reach. I saw on the internet where Knuckleheads over in huntsville was open on the patio only. I have no idea how because that whole county was still out of power from when the nuclear plant took a direct hit. They said they had wings too. I thought about going the Sunday but said screw it and just sat around and thought a little more. The next day I saw the same thing on facebook and I was tired of sitting so I got in the car and took off. On the way I past by the church I went to as a child it was the church where I was baptized. It was a pile of planks completely wiped off the face of the earth there was nothing left everything was destroyed. As I got into Madison police were still out directing traffic because the lights still didn't work.
If nothing worked how the hell was this place open? I got there and I could see people on the patio drinking. I walked inside and it was nothing but darkness they didn't have power at all. However what they did have was alot of ice and cold beer in it. Somehow they were making wings and fries but not sure how they were doing it. Cold beer is cold beer and that was good enough for me. Life gave them lemons and they made lemonade. They had something they wanted to do bad enough and they came up with a way to do it. They had a patio full of people and only one waitress. Stefanie came in to work on her birthday. Working on your birthday sucks but when you want to make money a night with no competition is good too. It was a beautiful monday as I looked out over the highway finally coming back down to earth. I picked up that cold beer and took a sip as I laid back in my seat. Then I knew everything was going to be alright.
Charity's Song
I like to lay in bed at night and think. It's quiet and there's nobody around. There's no one to try and rip me off. There's no one expecting me to do this thing or that other thing. I don't have to be anything I just have to be.I stare at the computer screen sometimes wanting to write but I have so many thoughts in my head. Sometimes I write and sometimes I can't do anything. It's like when I go out somewhere social like a bar sometimes I talk too much and sometimes I sit there quietly, quiet as a ghost. It always made it hard to sleep so I tried to drink alot of liquor hoping it would help. Sometimes it did and others it didn't. I'd like to get it all out of my head but worry it just won't make sense because it's so confusing. Then again, sometimes confusion makes the most sense of all.
I like to think about my friend Charity. I met her when I was a junior in high school we had gym class together. I mostly just played basketball badly never really noticed anybody until one day this girl came up to me and told me that her friend "liked" me. It was kind of odd to me because honestly when I was in high school nobody liked me. I think I may have had 2 girlfriends the entire time I was even in high school though one was for several years. I had poor social skills and low self confidence. At first I thought it may have been a cruel trick that kids often play. They would go to a kid the others thought was ugly(like me) and tell them someone liked them as a joke. Then they could use that to embarrass their friend and just make fun of you. After all you were ugly and why would anyone like you(least that's what you were told by your peers)? This happened to me a few times so I was used to it. I saw Charity and she was very pretty. There was a girl on TV at the time named Cassidy Rae and this girl looked just like her. I went over there and spoke with her and she was really flirty and seemed like she was into me. So obviously something was wrong somewhere. I spoke to my buddy Jarrod and he asked me to wait until he checked on something for me about it.
I told Charity bye and got changed out and went to typing class. Typing class was a lame course to get a credit nobody cared about typing. Fuck typing I flunked the second semester. Jarrod had the seat behind me so I quickly asked him for the lowdown. Sure enough! Charity was only 13 years old. My heart just sank I mean 17 and 13 is extremely inappropriate and can never happen. Now 34 and 30 or even 24 and 20 doesn't seem so bad but 17 and 13 just ain't going to happen. I sat there the whole class thinking about how I could tell her without hurting her feelings. Of course I wasn't listening in typing class because fuck typing. It was a real slap in the face because I was so lonely and felt so bad all the time I needed someone but it couldn't be her. I told her in the hall during last period and she was still upset that I couldn't be her boyfriend but I told her we could still be friends and stuff but that's all it was going to be because I was too old and that just wasn't right.
As time went by I'd always talk to her and give her a hug in the hall. She'd take to writing me notes every now and then and I'd have to remind her that I was too old for her. I know one time she was really bummed about it and I gave her my phone number to make her feel better. I just didn't want her to think it was because I didn't like her or that something was wrong with her. I was just too old for her and that was all it was to it. She'd call once a week just to talk about stuff. Just regular teenage girl stuff like some girl said this and the other one did that and they were all bitches. Most were bitches by the way I'll testify to that one. I have to admit I enjoyed talking to her and looked forward to her calling. No matter what I had going on I'd always talk to her for a little bit. She stopped trying to flirt with me and we just became friends. It was really nice because there was a huge class system at my school as there is in most. If you didn't have a certain last name you were doomed to ridicule by the ones who had it and the people that licked their asses. I didn't have one of those names and I never licked ass. My food was tampered with at one point. My tires were slit a couple times. I was attacked before football practice once and they tried to pull my pants down but I fought them off and slung them all over the place until they gave up. This was a normal day at this school for the awkward kids. Charity always made it better because she liked me regardless.
We stayed friends through my senior year keeping in touch like always then I graduated. Her family was originally from Hilton Head,SC and one day she told me they were moving there. I was pretty sad about it and told her I miss her even though I never saw her out of school. She promised she's stay in touch. I was 18 and she was about to turn 15. I'm not going to lie in the back of my mind I always thought 22 and 18 wasn't too bad of an age difference either.
She kept her word we still talked on the phone twice a week and I even got to know the rest of her family her older brothers and her parents talking to them on the phone as well a little bit each time I'd call. She'd send me two or three handwritten letters a month. We talked alot but she just enjoyed writing them and I enjoyed reading them. I was dating a real bitch that worked at Kmart and by this time I was the one telling her about how this girl done this and the other one did that and how they were all bitches. She reminded me that she used to be on the other end of that conversation and we got a kick out of it. We'd talk for hours sometimes just catching up with how the other was doing. Then the phone bills got to be a little high. I remember she was 16 and her parents told her that we needed to keep our calls after 10pm when the rates were cheaper. Then again I couldn't call up there because ome of them went to bed at 9pm and Charity didn't want to wake them up.I was 20 and still living at home working crap jobs but I had a phone in my room. So every a little after 10 pm the phone would ring 2 times and that was all on every tuesday and thursday. That was the signal that she was by the phone and I could call her back so she could pick up on the first ring and not wake anyone. I was working I could pay my phone bill anyway.
Over the next two years the conversations were further apart she was old enough to drive and instead of talking about what some girl said in the hall it was more about parties an that type of thing so there wasn't that much talking on weekends but when she did stay home on a friday or saturday sometimes we'd talk til 2 am and I still got a letter or 2 a month. As she got older and I did too other things got in the way and we didn't talk as much but we still talked when we could. She kept saying her parents were talking about moving back to the area which was really exciting because we could see each other. Then the calls just stopped. for about 2 months. They were kind of dwindling down anyway. I was busy working somewhere else and didn't think much of it she was a pretty girl probably going out alot and I was happy for her she was 18 and was probably having a great senior year.
One day I had just got done looking for an apartment and my mother came into the living room. She asked me was I still getting letters from that girl that had always sent them. I told her I hadn't got one in awhile and I asked her why? That's when she told me Charity and her family had moved back to Alabama and were living up in the Elkmont area. I hadn't heard anything about that and thought it was odd that my mom knew I mean she didn't even know the family. Charity had been at a party in Elkmont a week before. They were huffing gas using butane. She had a brain seizure and had to go to the hospital she was in a coma. She laid there on life support for a day or so but she couldn't be saved and her family pulled the plug. She died shortly after and had buried her in Centerstar the day before my mom told me. I walked into my room and cried for about an hour. I didn't even get to see her.
I took a couple days to pull myself together and decided I had to go to the grave site. I was really nervous about it and stopped on the way to see my grandmother. I visited with her until I could get my nerve up and told her about everything. I tried to get her to come with me but she had a bunch of dogs and didn't want to leave them there by themselves.
When I got to the church it was kind of hidden but I found it. It was the second gravesite on the left as you go in the gate. They hadn't gotten the headstone in yet it was just a marker in the ground but the flowers on the grave were still fresh from the funeral. I got down on my knees and just sit there. I don't even know how long I was there I cried just a little more and said how sorry I was and told her how I didn't know and really wished I could've seen her. Then remember saying I didn't want to leave but I had to go. I sat in my car for awhile before I pulled out of the parking lot and just went home. Not saying goodbye was bad but not knowing if she knew how much I cared for her haunted me even worse. That next tuesday night the phone rang just after 10 pm. I didn't think anything about it then thursday it did it again at the same time. Just two rings then no more just like we always did. Sometimes I'd answer the phone and hear nothing. Other times I'd answer it and hear a muffled voice but couldn't understand anything it wasn't audible. I'd have these vivid dreams about her. In some we were back in high school and in others we were married we had two children Michael and Ashley. They always looked the same in the dreams. She was always on the other side of the room in the dream and I was walking towards her but I'd wake up before I got to her I could never touch her. I always felt uneasy when I woke up and sometimes I'd be afraid to dream and I'd go out and get drunk thinking it would dull everything but even drunk every tuesday and thursday night that phone would ring after 10 pm.
This went on for right around two years. I'd have these dreams where I couldn't touch her and the phone kept ringing every tuesday and thursday night after 10 pm when I was in the room. I'd stopped trying to answer it. Then I had another dream but this one was different. In the dream I was in my room at my parents house which is the actual room I was asleep in. In the dream it was during the day and the window above the bed was open there was a nice cool summer breeze blowing through it and it felt good on my skin and I could smell the grass. Charity was laying on the bed wearing this white shirt and denim skirt she used to always wear and she patted the bed beside her but didn't say anything she just smiled. This time I laid down beside her and put my arms around her and hugged her tightly. She felt warm and I could feel her heart beat against my chest. Her skin smelled like vanilla from the body lotion she used to wear at school. I finally got to her. I sat up on the bed. I said,"I'm so sorry I missed you I didn't know you were back nobody told me I would've been there for you I love you so much."She didn't say anything at first she just reached out with her right hand and touched the side of my face and smiled. Then she said,"I know hon I've always known, it's ok but you know I have to go now?" Just as she told me she loved me I felt the wind outside the window get stronger and her body turned to sand slowly blowing away like a sand castle out the window disappearing in the wind. I woke up after that but this time I wasn't upset. I actually felt peaceful almost happy. I got up and walked over to the dresser and got out her letters and spent the morning reading through them. That tuesday night the phone didn't ring. It never rang again. She knew and I know she knew. It's been 17 years and I still have every letter. Some may think I'm crazy but I know that I'm not. Sometimes when I'm at the beach walking in the sand and I'll feel a breeze out of nowhere and it always makes me smile.
I like to think about my friend Charity. I met her when I was a junior in high school we had gym class together. I mostly just played basketball badly never really noticed anybody until one day this girl came up to me and told me that her friend "liked" me. It was kind of odd to me because honestly when I was in high school nobody liked me. I think I may have had 2 girlfriends the entire time I was even in high school though one was for several years. I had poor social skills and low self confidence. At first I thought it may have been a cruel trick that kids often play. They would go to a kid the others thought was ugly(like me) and tell them someone liked them as a joke. Then they could use that to embarrass their friend and just make fun of you. After all you were ugly and why would anyone like you(least that's what you were told by your peers)? This happened to me a few times so I was used to it. I saw Charity and she was very pretty. There was a girl on TV at the time named Cassidy Rae and this girl looked just like her. I went over there and spoke with her and she was really flirty and seemed like she was into me. So obviously something was wrong somewhere. I spoke to my buddy Jarrod and he asked me to wait until he checked on something for me about it.
I told Charity bye and got changed out and went to typing class. Typing class was a lame course to get a credit nobody cared about typing. Fuck typing I flunked the second semester. Jarrod had the seat behind me so I quickly asked him for the lowdown. Sure enough! Charity was only 13 years old. My heart just sank I mean 17 and 13 is extremely inappropriate and can never happen. Now 34 and 30 or even 24 and 20 doesn't seem so bad but 17 and 13 just ain't going to happen. I sat there the whole class thinking about how I could tell her without hurting her feelings. Of course I wasn't listening in typing class because fuck typing. It was a real slap in the face because I was so lonely and felt so bad all the time I needed someone but it couldn't be her. I told her in the hall during last period and she was still upset that I couldn't be her boyfriend but I told her we could still be friends and stuff but that's all it was going to be because I was too old and that just wasn't right.
As time went by I'd always talk to her and give her a hug in the hall. She'd take to writing me notes every now and then and I'd have to remind her that I was too old for her. I know one time she was really bummed about it and I gave her my phone number to make her feel better. I just didn't want her to think it was because I didn't like her or that something was wrong with her. I was just too old for her and that was all it was to it. She'd call once a week just to talk about stuff. Just regular teenage girl stuff like some girl said this and the other one did that and they were all bitches. Most were bitches by the way I'll testify to that one. I have to admit I enjoyed talking to her and looked forward to her calling. No matter what I had going on I'd always talk to her for a little bit. She stopped trying to flirt with me and we just became friends. It was really nice because there was a huge class system at my school as there is in most. If you didn't have a certain last name you were doomed to ridicule by the ones who had it and the people that licked their asses. I didn't have one of those names and I never licked ass. My food was tampered with at one point. My tires were slit a couple times. I was attacked before football practice once and they tried to pull my pants down but I fought them off and slung them all over the place until they gave up. This was a normal day at this school for the awkward kids. Charity always made it better because she liked me regardless.
We stayed friends through my senior year keeping in touch like always then I graduated. Her family was originally from Hilton Head,SC and one day she told me they were moving there. I was pretty sad about it and told her I miss her even though I never saw her out of school. She promised she's stay in touch. I was 18 and she was about to turn 15. I'm not going to lie in the back of my mind I always thought 22 and 18 wasn't too bad of an age difference either.
She kept her word we still talked on the phone twice a week and I even got to know the rest of her family her older brothers and her parents talking to them on the phone as well a little bit each time I'd call. She'd send me two or three handwritten letters a month. We talked alot but she just enjoyed writing them and I enjoyed reading them. I was dating a real bitch that worked at Kmart and by this time I was the one telling her about how this girl done this and the other one did that and how they were all bitches. She reminded me that she used to be on the other end of that conversation and we got a kick out of it. We'd talk for hours sometimes just catching up with how the other was doing. Then the phone bills got to be a little high. I remember she was 16 and her parents told her that we needed to keep our calls after 10pm when the rates were cheaper. Then again I couldn't call up there because ome of them went to bed at 9pm and Charity didn't want to wake them up.I was 20 and still living at home working crap jobs but I had a phone in my room. So every a little after 10 pm the phone would ring 2 times and that was all on every tuesday and thursday. That was the signal that she was by the phone and I could call her back so she could pick up on the first ring and not wake anyone. I was working I could pay my phone bill anyway.
Over the next two years the conversations were further apart she was old enough to drive and instead of talking about what some girl said in the hall it was more about parties an that type of thing so there wasn't that much talking on weekends but when she did stay home on a friday or saturday sometimes we'd talk til 2 am and I still got a letter or 2 a month. As she got older and I did too other things got in the way and we didn't talk as much but we still talked when we could. She kept saying her parents were talking about moving back to the area which was really exciting because we could see each other. Then the calls just stopped. for about 2 months. They were kind of dwindling down anyway. I was busy working somewhere else and didn't think much of it she was a pretty girl probably going out alot and I was happy for her she was 18 and was probably having a great senior year.
One day I had just got done looking for an apartment and my mother came into the living room. She asked me was I still getting letters from that girl that had always sent them. I told her I hadn't got one in awhile and I asked her why? That's when she told me Charity and her family had moved back to Alabama and were living up in the Elkmont area. I hadn't heard anything about that and thought it was odd that my mom knew I mean she didn't even know the family. Charity had been at a party in Elkmont a week before. They were huffing gas using butane. She had a brain seizure and had to go to the hospital she was in a coma. She laid there on life support for a day or so but she couldn't be saved and her family pulled the plug. She died shortly after and had buried her in Centerstar the day before my mom told me. I walked into my room and cried for about an hour. I didn't even get to see her.
I took a couple days to pull myself together and decided I had to go to the grave site. I was really nervous about it and stopped on the way to see my grandmother. I visited with her until I could get my nerve up and told her about everything. I tried to get her to come with me but she had a bunch of dogs and didn't want to leave them there by themselves.
When I got to the church it was kind of hidden but I found it. It was the second gravesite on the left as you go in the gate. They hadn't gotten the headstone in yet it was just a marker in the ground but the flowers on the grave were still fresh from the funeral. I got down on my knees and just sit there. I don't even know how long I was there I cried just a little more and said how sorry I was and told her how I didn't know and really wished I could've seen her. Then remember saying I didn't want to leave but I had to go. I sat in my car for awhile before I pulled out of the parking lot and just went home. Not saying goodbye was bad but not knowing if she knew how much I cared for her haunted me even worse. That next tuesday night the phone rang just after 10 pm. I didn't think anything about it then thursday it did it again at the same time. Just two rings then no more just like we always did. Sometimes I'd answer the phone and hear nothing. Other times I'd answer it and hear a muffled voice but couldn't understand anything it wasn't audible. I'd have these vivid dreams about her. In some we were back in high school and in others we were married we had two children Michael and Ashley. They always looked the same in the dreams. She was always on the other side of the room in the dream and I was walking towards her but I'd wake up before I got to her I could never touch her. I always felt uneasy when I woke up and sometimes I'd be afraid to dream and I'd go out and get drunk thinking it would dull everything but even drunk every tuesday and thursday night that phone would ring after 10 pm.
This went on for right around two years. I'd have these dreams where I couldn't touch her and the phone kept ringing every tuesday and thursday night after 10 pm when I was in the room. I'd stopped trying to answer it. Then I had another dream but this one was different. In the dream I was in my room at my parents house which is the actual room I was asleep in. In the dream it was during the day and the window above the bed was open there was a nice cool summer breeze blowing through it and it felt good on my skin and I could smell the grass. Charity was laying on the bed wearing this white shirt and denim skirt she used to always wear and she patted the bed beside her but didn't say anything she just smiled. This time I laid down beside her and put my arms around her and hugged her tightly. She felt warm and I could feel her heart beat against my chest. Her skin smelled like vanilla from the body lotion she used to wear at school. I finally got to her. I sat up on the bed. I said,"I'm so sorry I missed you I didn't know you were back nobody told me I would've been there for you I love you so much."She didn't say anything at first she just reached out with her right hand and touched the side of my face and smiled. Then she said,"I know hon I've always known, it's ok but you know I have to go now?" Just as she told me she loved me I felt the wind outside the window get stronger and her body turned to sand slowly blowing away like a sand castle out the window disappearing in the wind. I woke up after that but this time I wasn't upset. I actually felt peaceful almost happy. I got up and walked over to the dresser and got out her letters and spent the morning reading through them. That tuesday night the phone didn't ring. It never rang again. She knew and I know she knew. It's been 17 years and I still have every letter. Some may think I'm crazy but I know that I'm not. Sometimes when I'm at the beach walking in the sand and I'll feel a breeze out of nowhere and it always makes me smile.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Hell, Heaven, and Earth In A Week Part 2
I remember looking up at the apartment again knowing I was taking a risk. I was really nervous about running out of gas on the way and hoping I'd have enough. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to push it past Birmingham but I was willing to try. Hell I wasn't going to get anywhere playing it safe. It'd never got me anywhere before. I made a few calls on my cellphone to let people know where was going to be and hoping I'd make it there. The sun was still out and as hellish as the day before was it was actually a beautiful day today. I'd went walking earlier but part of the path was cut off due to debris because the city was clearing out trees. You could tell a tornado went through there the way the foliage was split down the middle. There were even fish slung out of a nearby stream onto the path that had died. As I turned down I-65 I put a cd in and rolled the window down a little bit keeping my fingers crossed.
It was an eye opening drive to say the least as I got just a little down the interstate towards the huntsville brown's ferry overpass I saw the sign that used to mark it wadded up like a big old spitball. This wasn't a small sign the tornado just wadded it up like it was nothing and threw it to the opposite side of the road.
This big sign was ripped up and crushed into a ball on the opposite side of the interstate
I was doing fine on gas I didn't have to worry about it for a bit, but in all honesty I'm a structured person and this was a little out of the ordinary for me just winging it like this. All along the interstate there were gas exits but I knew I needed to get further. As I got down to Cullman I went to the second exit and looked up seeing no one at the gas station I thought I'd found it for sure. If I could go ahead and get the car full it was going to be a done deal. I'd seen a few other gas stations on the way but they were backed up out into the roads hell I'd run out of gas waiting in line as long as it was going to take. So I took that second Cullman exit and pulled into the gas station feeling pretty good about it. I got my debit card out ready to put it in then I saw it. I was so excited about not seeing a line I didn't even notice that the gas station was closed. There was no power in the part of Cullman county everything was shut off the pumps wouldn't cut on. I sighed as I got back in my car and shut the door. It sucked but it wasn't time to panic yet I was only about 45 minutes into a 6 hour trip it was too early to worry.
I rolled through a few more towns before hitting "the Ham"(short for Birmingham) and by this time it was getting really dark and my gas was starting to get low but still not too bad. The Ham had it's own problems with the tornadoes the day before taking a direct hit but as I drove through it everything was still lit up pretty well. Either those buildings can take a punch or somebody got rich selling generators. I was good about it then when I got to the Homewood area everything just stopped. There was either a wreck or some road construction but I couldn't tell. The longer I sat there in gridlock the more frustrated I got and the more I stared at the gas gauge. I was going to be fine if it wasn't for whatever this was but dammit! Now I'm starting to panic a little I'm down to 3 bars on fuel and I was so close. I wanted to get to Pensacola so bad I could taste it. I had planned on making it there by midnight now I definitely wasn't going to make it. I grabbed the cellphone and called Wayne down in Pensacola and told him I was going to be late I figured he was probably over at The Docks with Janelle having a great time while I was stuck in this damn traffic in Birmingham. He sounded like he was already drunk on the phone(he was actually asleep). He just told me to take my time and not to worry about it. I took a deep breath and pulled it together staring at the fuel gauge . I told him I wasn't sure how to get there exactly but I'd call him when I got to Flomaton to get better directions. I finally weeded my way through traffic and found the source to be some road construction where the interstate was down to one lane. The Ham was right at the end of the disaster zone and I guess everyone wanted out at the same time. I was down to two bars on the fuel gauge but I felt like I could make it to Alabaster. I had a friend in Alabaster that taught Jujitsu and I'd go down there and teach his class sometimes so I knew there was a gas station right off the interstate by the whataburger. I was still a little worried when i took the exit thinking what if I was wrong what if they are shut down too and it doesn't end with Birmingham.
It was an eye opening drive to say the least as I got just a little down the interstate towards the huntsville brown's ferry overpass I saw the sign that used to mark it wadded up like a big old spitball. This wasn't a small sign the tornado just wadded it up like it was nothing and threw it to the opposite side of the road.
I was doing fine on gas I didn't have to worry about it for a bit, but in all honesty I'm a structured person and this was a little out of the ordinary for me just winging it like this. All along the interstate there were gas exits but I knew I needed to get further. As I got down to Cullman I went to the second exit and looked up seeing no one at the gas station I thought I'd found it for sure. If I could go ahead and get the car full it was going to be a done deal. I'd seen a few other gas stations on the way but they were backed up out into the roads hell I'd run out of gas waiting in line as long as it was going to take. So I took that second Cullman exit and pulled into the gas station feeling pretty good about it. I got my debit card out ready to put it in then I saw it. I was so excited about not seeing a line I didn't even notice that the gas station was closed. There was no power in the part of Cullman county everything was shut off the pumps wouldn't cut on. I sighed as I got back in my car and shut the door. It sucked but it wasn't time to panic yet I was only about 45 minutes into a 6 hour trip it was too early to worry.
Now I gotta tell you about this Pensacola setup because it's pretty schweet! We get these free hotel rooms because Wayne has got the serious people skills. He could sell crack to an ass. He retired from the city of Hartselle and pulls these barbeque rigs behind a truck and can pretty much cook anything better than you ever tasted. Anyway so we get the rooms free and the place is across the road from the beach. You can actually see the ocean from the third floor. There are about 5 bars within walking distance off the room so once you get there you don't have to drive to do anything. The aforementioned Docks is one of those bars and the previously mentioned Janelle is a very pretty bartender that works there. She isn't just kinda pretty she's more like write a bad check pretty if you can understand what I'm saying here. In other words, there's fun down there and I'm not having any of it right now. After the day I had yesterday and waking up to the apocalypse I was ready to drink a beer or fifty and I had to get to Pensacola to do it and all the damn cars in Birmingham were in my way and I dropped another bar on the fuel gauge.
Tornado in The Ham a day before
I could see alot of lights so I knew they had power I pulled into a service station and let out a huge sigh of relief that I was right and I could get gas here. There was an attendant out there sweeping stuff up I noticed him right away because he had an eye missing and no teeth. I spoke to him briefly as I was filling up the tank. Apparently he owned the place which was shocking. I know you can't by sight but shit, you can buy some teeth and a marble. I was feeling alot better getting in that car pulling back out onto the interstate. I guess Hondas do get great gas mileage after all. It was only 9pm but this stretch of the interstate seemed to have no lights so it was very dark.
As I got further down the road with no traffic and with it being so dark I couldn't see a thing I started to get restless. I didn't really feel like listening to the radio I enjoyed the silence but at the same time when things are quiet too long I can start to get a little introspective. It had been less than a month since I had left my technician's job to focus exclusively on Stonewall Tactical. I'd been working on the Houston seminar but it was a bad time of year. Police departments were out of money the fiscal year runs from october to october in Texas. By my calculations I'd be broke sometime in august. I was also looking at other states but it would take some time to get POST(Peace Officer Standards and Training) approval in those states. It was a huge gamble but I wasn't happy with my life. I had goals and dreams that I had to at least try to attain. As I grew up I watched my father work at a job he hated to provide for us. I could tell how miserable he was he would just sit in his room and drink. Over time it changed him and he became a more bitter person and rarely left the house. I love my father but I don't want that to be my life. I wanted a better life and was willing to fight for it but it was still scary. If I were to fail there would be no one to blame but me.
As I passed Montgomery,which is the state capitol, it looked majestic. It was lit up like a christmas tree spared from the tornadoes. It was so dark other than those lights it made them brighter. It made me think to myself as I passed by and the interstate turned pitch black once again. I asked myself would those lights have been as bright if it wasn't so dark around them. If there was no failure would success have any meaning? Do our bad times magnify our good times? With all the doubts I sometimes feel I know this time I have to just keep on and not give up. The talent that I believed in to get me to quit my job was going to have to be the talent that got me through this doubt. You know doubt and fear are necessary in life. Both act as a check to keep us from being reckless.
There was always something about driving at night that helped me think. I remember years ago I was engaged. I was probably 20 years old it was so long ago. You know as bad as it sounds 17 years later I don't remember alot of great times with that girl. I guess it was a good thing we never got married. I do remember being devastated when it was over and thinking the feeling would never go away, but of course it did. Time clears away pain the way it does with memories not worth remembering. I remember not being able to sleep and getting in the car at 3 am and driving at night to clear my head then too. Sometimes I'd drive all the way from Athens,AL to Columbia, TN. I'd just keep driving until I saw the light. I guess that's what we have to do in life sometimes when it's dark. Driving to the ocean seemed metaphorical for me. Sitting by the ocean watching the waves was always so peaceful and relaxing. I thought to myself maybe if I stay on this road in my life long enough maybe I can find the ocean there too.
I shook my head feeling my eyes get a little heavy. Introspection is great but no one needs to be in their own head for too long. It was around midnight when I saw Exit 69 to Flomaton on the right. I knew there was some odd turn at the end of that road but I couldn't remember it. I stopped at an all night gas station and got a soda then gave Wayne a call. He still sounded a little out of it but I got the directions I needed and got back in the car. It was another very dark road but I wouldn't be on it very long. I made my turn by some chicken place and got on the right road crossing the Florida panhandle and drove for around 45 minutes. I got off on another interstate I think it was 110 but can't quite remember I tried to call Wayne but couldn't get anything. I called information and asked for the number for the Cabana Inn but they never heard of it. What the hell! I always stay there. I finally got Wayne on the phone and he said they got bought out by a travel lodge but didn't know the number there. So I called information to get the number and they transferred me to the wrong one. They shot me over to some central office guy in some other travel lodge but screw it I could get the number from him. So I get this numbnuts on the phone and tell him I'm lost. I mean I recognize the road but can't remember how to get to the hotel. This asspacker asked me did I want to do a survey and get some coupons for my next visit. Well I said not really I'm lost can he give me the number for the Travel Lodge in Pensacola I'm in the city but I'm lost. Then this mother fucker asks me if I'll click over and do that survery if he gives me the number. I'm lost in some state I could be passing the road as we speak and this dude is pulling this shit. That's ok though because I knew what to do. I said sure I'd love to click over and do that survey for those coupons. He then gave me the number I needed and told me to hang on while he transferred me. It was at that point I hung the phone up on his sorry ass because I had the number I needed. Sure I could've waited until I got transferred to hang up but I wanted him to know that he just got hung up on by Paul Green special just for him.
I got the guy at the local Travel Lodge on the phone and he was much much better, very helpful. He stay on the phone with me the entire time all the way to the parking lot to the hotel even through the toll booth to cross over into Gulf Breeze. As I pulled in the parking lot Wayne called asking where I was on the road. I told him I was in the parking lot and he gave me the room number and said it was open. I walked up to the third floor and went in. That's when I realized he was never drunk at all he'd been asleep the whole time. I kind of felt like an ass for thinking he was drunk but then again feeling like an ass wasn't that new to me anyway.
From the room I could hear the bar next door jumpin. They were still going full speed they didn't close until 4:30 am there. The bar was called Sandshakers and they had invented a famous frozen drink down there called The Bushwhacker. I'd been on the road for 6 hours after surviving over 150 tornadoes the day before. I honestly felt like a refugee. Well this refugee needed a drink. The place was really smokey and it was an older crowd. Normally I refuse to go into places where smoking is permitted but I was thirsty and wanted a drink and I didn't want to walk all the way over to the docks to get it because it was already after 2 am. Hell I've been known to whack a bush here and there in my day and now seemed a good time to whack another one. If I was going to catch a buzz beer would be too slow I was running out of time. Now as I'm typing this it sounds really stupid but when you haven't slept in 48 hours logic can kind of take a hit.
I walked over there anxious to relax and get the edge off. Wayne said to hell with it and went back to sleep.
I smiled as I walked in looking around. Yes the place smelled like ass just the way it always did. I took a seat and looked around at all the people. It was a banner night for sure. Everyone there was older than me. They were also drunk and appeared to be pretty stupid. They were ugly too with the exception of the bartender. The bartender was older than me but she looked good. If i ever got attacked by a cougar down here she was getting my vote. I ordered a quick bushwhacker and went to work on it as I looked around. A girl came in and sat at the end of the bar and didn't look half bad at all. I was going to let her get settled and maybe start up a conversation but one of the drunk geezers pounced. Why I have no idea he wasn't going to get anything and even if he did he wasn't going to be able to do anything with it. As drunk as he was viagra would be useless. He'd have to opt for a couple popsicle sticks and some duct tape, but then again he'd be too drunk to get them on he needed to just go home. I didn't want another bushwhacker I was getting the brain freeze so I switched to white russians. I stayed there until closing drinking those white russians and watching television. There's been so much hell going on I didn't even know the NFL draft had taken place. Mark Ingram ended up with the New Orleans Saints. Oh well at least he didn't get stuck with a shitty team. The geezer left and I got a chance to talk to that girl too. She was a server at a local restaurant there called Peg Leg Pete's and would be working saturday night. Well i come to Pensacola from time to time so I was going to try to be there saturday night. If I didn't get anywhere on this trip then so what I'd have a head start on the next one I thought. I paid my tab and wandered back to the hotel stopping by the front desk to get my key then headed up to the room. Wayne was still out asleep so I went over to my bed and did the same. I don't think I laid there that long I just went right out not worried about tomorrow.
Hell, Heaven, and Earth In A Week part 1
When I got woke up on April 27,2011 I had no idea what was going on. I remember my mother called about 11 am. I had been up late the night before talking to some police in the Houston, TX area. I was planning on teaching a certification course there in July and some of the training coordinators worked night shift so I had to stay up pretty late to speak with them. It had been a bad night for weather it just seemed to thunder and lightning all night. There was alot of talk of some bad tornadoes but that was nothing new. Now for the people reading this not from Alabama that may seem like a dumb statement and in reality your right. Let me explain and maybe you'll understand the thoughts on people around here on it.
Just to give a point of reference let me put it this way. Tornadoes in the area are as common as a car chase in Los Angeles. They are as common as harvesting corn in Nebraska or getting mugged in New York. Even when there aren't tornadoes we can get huge wind bursts like we did with Hurricane Katrina and Ike. People were really paranoid about them for a long time but over the years just became desensitized. Back in 1974 when I was 6 months old 145 tornadoes hit this area in one night destroying a large chunk of North Alabama as well as other states. My mother still tells stories of them going overhead and shaking the house and her taking me and sitting in the bathtub for shelter because there wasn't a neighborhood shelter here. As the years went by we'd have tornado warnings and they'd panic but the tornadoes never hit here they were always somewhere else where we couldn't see any destruction. Sure we'd see pictures on the news the next day and feel bad for the people but it just isn't the same. After 1974 they built a neighborhood shelter here and we were all standing around outside I was probably around 22 because I remember I still had really long hair and was playing bass guitar in a punk rock band at the time. I still remember looking up in the sky and seeing the clouds blow towards each other and thinking I'd never seen that before. There were so-called spotters out there with radios but they were really just dudes in the neighborhood trying to look important they didn't know anything. They were all like it's gonna miss us it won't be anything. Even when i turned around and saw rain on one side of the neighborhood but not where we where. Even when that rain circled us and went in front of us and starting spinning into a funnel they were like, Aww it's just rain no big deal." They of course were idiots. My hair whipped back as I heard what sounded like a train and we all broke out running. I was the last one down the stairs as the tree behind me snapped...then it was just gone. I heard sirens the trailer park down the road had been hit so we volunteered to look for bodies under the rubble. We didn't see any bodies but there was a casualty a guy had been killed by debri. Two years later I was visiting my parents when we got a tornado warning and the air raid sirens went off at the local nuclear plant. We didn't have time to go anywhere so we just assumed the position in the hall(You know the one we all learn in school). We felt the shaking then everything went dark..then it was gone. I walked outside in the rain and half the roof was gone. So when my mother called me on April 27th and told me there was some tornadoes in the area that morning and more were on the way i took it a little more seriously.
So I got up and walked into the living room and my roommate was already up looking out the window. It was raining like hell I tried to walk out onto the balcony but just got drenched then the power went out. We'd had WiFi for the apartment but it was out with the storm. I still had calls to make to Texas and I needed to renew my car tag as well. Now just so you know we didn't have a portable radio and with the power out we didn't actually know how bad the weather had become. So when there was a break in the rain I made a break for it to the car to go get my car tag. The building was almost empty when i got there but they weren't closed. I walked in and walked right to the front and they were looking at me as if they were angry. They said they were trying to get the hell outta there and asked me what i wanted. I told them and got my car tag pretty quick. Next i had to check my email and the Wifi at the apartment was down. I knew the Sweet Peppers Deli in the Publix Shopping Center had an open WiFi so i went there and sit in my car and got a signal. As soon as I got my emails done and made a couple calls my phone starting going off again. It was my mother saying there was a tornado warning for the area and I needed to get over there to the shelter. I looked around and I had to admit it didn't look too good. It didn't look good at all and I got a weird feeling so I bolted out of the parking lot and headed home I wasn't that far from it I remember seeing how dark it was getting behind me in the rear view mirror so I sped up a little and headed over there.
When I got to my parents house they still had power and sure enough there was a tornado warning. Mom was panicking trying to get us to the shelter in the back yard and as always my father wasn't listening. Of course none of us knew what i had just missed up in the Publix parking lot either. We all loaded up and grabbed some water and took off to the shelter heading underground. It was raining pretty bad and I let them get in first then followed closing the heavy door behind us and locking it down. It was dark down there plus it was wet and smelled funny and everything echoed. There was a little bit of light coming through the part of the door where oxygen got in but that was about it. My mother had a portable radio and turned it on. That's when we started to get the picture of how bad it really was out there. The local radio station(just down the road from Publix) had taken a direct hit and none of their equipment worked. They were trying to get all of their data off an Ipod and begging people to call in and tell them what was going on out there because they couldn't find out anything either. People were calling in talking about damage which is pretty common but nothing out of the ordinary for these storms. We stayed in the shelter for the most part during the afternoon because as soon as one warning would expire there would be another warning. Honestly it all happened so fast I can't remember the order that everything went down. I know at one point a warning expired and we all went back into the house momentarily just enough time to get more water. When the next warning hit my father refused to go. I didn't want to leave him so I stayed at the door and told my mother I'd look out. At one point I started getting that feeling again and we made a run for it. It was raining so hard I couldn't even see and there was about half a foot of water standing in the back yard. I got so wet out there my mother asked my if I'd fallen down in it but I hadn't the rain poured like a water fall. I think this was about the the time Tornado was going through the Harvest area which wasn't that far from us. This repeated til about 8 pm that night. During the afternoon we found out Brown's Ferry Nuclear Plant had taken a hit in the switch yard and there were a few towers down. Some cables had gotten snapped and the entire city of Huntsville was without power and they didn't know when power would be back. For those that don't know Huntsville is the states third largest city for the entire thing to be out was shocking. This was the epicenter for commerce in the area. With Huntsville completely shut down alot of lives would be shut down with it. This was a huge blow the North Alabama. It was unimaginable. Alot of the places I used to work when I was a technician for Canon had been hit. Cullman and Arab took huge hits with lots of damage. Even our largest city, Birmingham, had been hit hard. Tuscaloosa had a huge amount of damage. As the numbers came in it got worse and worse as the death toll began to climb. I was still drenched and needed some dry clothes even at 8 pm at night when the all clear was finally given. I was totally exhausted mentally and physically but mostly mentally I just wanted to lay down. With all the death and damage I'd had enough for the day. As I said earlier we get tornadoes all the time but it always seems to hit out in rural areas. These tornadoes hit the states first and third largest cities directly. This was unbelievable like some kind of nightmare.I decided to head back to my apartment and see if we'd gotten power back on though I'd heard most of the town was out. I stopped at the Days Inn on the way because I knew they had an open WiFi as well and I needed to check for word from Texas. When I pulled into the parking lot the place was packed and people were out on the ledges it was really odd. I then headed back out driving through town. Some streets were completely dark I could tell there was no power at all on them but when I got to my street I started to see lights. When I got to my apartment there were already other people there playing Xbox. I went in and played with the dog for awhile and spoke with them and just went to bed.
I must've slept about 12 hours because when i woke up the next morning it was 10 am. I decided to go out and see what everything looked like in the day time...it wasn't good. When I hit town it was like something apocalyptic. There were gas lines everywhere you could barely drive. Apparently in the surrounding cities there was no power so the pumps to the gas stations were turned off. Word had got out that Athens had plenty of gas and the locals were afraid people would come from other cities and take it all. You couldn't get gas. You couldn't get into a restaurant most were closed anyway. Even the almighty Wal-Mart was shut down. I managed to find a subway open that only had 4 people in line. Thank God most people in the city hate anything that's healthy. Right behind me in line there was a guy from FEMA that had came up from Georgia that morning about 2 am. The big trailer park down the road had been destroyed and they were clearing out bodies. The highway to Decatur was shut down you could only get there by the interstate. They'd let him leave early because he'd hurt his ankle. Honestly everything was so jacked up it felt like I was in a soup line it was just a bizarre feeling. I made it out to Hwy 72 and got into the gridlock again. By the time I got threw it I thought to hell with this I'm not gonna backtrack through this shit to go to the apartment I'm just gonna go back over to my parents house and see what they are doing. I headed down the country roads but even the old general store down the road from the house was back up for a mile. I worked my way through the traffic and finally got there. They'd went through the same thing in town and said to hell with it and came back home. There was nowhere you could get food nothing was open. We had some sausage left over there so that's what we ate. The tornado was all over national news.
There's had been over 150 tornadoes that night it had even eclipsed the tornadoes in 1974 to become the 2nd worst weather disaster in the nation's history. If I remember right the death toll eventually got close to 300. Most cities were still without power and wouldn't have it for days. President Obama had cancelled some meetings and was coming to the state on Friday. Until then We were declared a Federal Disaster Zone and FEMA would be moving in taking a bigger role. We got more and more info all day as we sat there and watched the video coming in from some of the carnage. All we could do was sit there and watch it everything was shut down. Then as it got into the evening there was word there would be a dusk til dawn curfew. It was getting close to dusk so I got into the car to head home. I'd heard during the day that the city of Hartselle had gotten hit too and I had a friend there so I called to see if he was doing ok.
When I got him on the phone he wasn't even in Hartselle he was in Pensacola,FL. See we were supposed to go down there before all this started but he'd had to get his daughter from down there and bring her up here for a doctor's appointment. Well when he heard about the storms coming he said screw it and just stayed down there. I was complaining about how everything was and how bad everything looked. He told me he had a free room down there with an extra bed that I should just say screw it and drive down there. I was going to be at least a 6 hour drive and I only had half a tank of gas and nowhere that I could by any. I'd never unpacked my suitcase from when we were gonna go earlier it was still in the back seat. I felt like If my Honda Civic would make it past Birmingham that I'd be able to get gas and make it to Florida. Birmingham was basically 90 miles away. Just passed Birmingham the disaster zone ended with the exception of Tuscaloosa and I felt like I could get gas easy there but didn't know for sure. Either way there was nothing for me here and I still couldn't get internet access to do my work in Texas. Hondas are supposed to get great gas mileage and I'd decided I was gonna find out how good. I got to the apartment and grabbed a few things,played with the dog, and hit the road. I didn't know if I was gonna make it I may sleep in my car but I'm going for it.
Just to give a point of reference let me put it this way. Tornadoes in the area are as common as a car chase in Los Angeles. They are as common as harvesting corn in Nebraska or getting mugged in New York. Even when there aren't tornadoes we can get huge wind bursts like we did with Hurricane Katrina and Ike. People were really paranoid about them for a long time but over the years just became desensitized. Back in 1974 when I was 6 months old 145 tornadoes hit this area in one night destroying a large chunk of North Alabama as well as other states. My mother still tells stories of them going overhead and shaking the house and her taking me and sitting in the bathtub for shelter because there wasn't a neighborhood shelter here. As the years went by we'd have tornado warnings and they'd panic but the tornadoes never hit here they were always somewhere else where we couldn't see any destruction. Sure we'd see pictures on the news the next day and feel bad for the people but it just isn't the same. After 1974 they built a neighborhood shelter here and we were all standing around outside I was probably around 22 because I remember I still had really long hair and was playing bass guitar in a punk rock band at the time. I still remember looking up in the sky and seeing the clouds blow towards each other and thinking I'd never seen that before. There were so-called spotters out there with radios but they were really just dudes in the neighborhood trying to look important they didn't know anything. They were all like it's gonna miss us it won't be anything. Even when i turned around and saw rain on one side of the neighborhood but not where we where. Even when that rain circled us and went in front of us and starting spinning into a funnel they were like, Aww it's just rain no big deal." They of course were idiots. My hair whipped back as I heard what sounded like a train and we all broke out running. I was the last one down the stairs as the tree behind me snapped...then it was just gone. I heard sirens the trailer park down the road had been hit so we volunteered to look for bodies under the rubble. We didn't see any bodies but there was a casualty a guy had been killed by debri. Two years later I was visiting my parents when we got a tornado warning and the air raid sirens went off at the local nuclear plant. We didn't have time to go anywhere so we just assumed the position in the hall(You know the one we all learn in school). We felt the shaking then everything went dark..then it was gone. I walked outside in the rain and half the roof was gone. So when my mother called me on April 27th and told me there was some tornadoes in the area that morning and more were on the way i took it a little more seriously.
So I got up and walked into the living room and my roommate was already up looking out the window. It was raining like hell I tried to walk out onto the balcony but just got drenched then the power went out. We'd had WiFi for the apartment but it was out with the storm. I still had calls to make to Texas and I needed to renew my car tag as well. Now just so you know we didn't have a portable radio and with the power out we didn't actually know how bad the weather had become. So when there was a break in the rain I made a break for it to the car to go get my car tag. The building was almost empty when i got there but they weren't closed. I walked in and walked right to the front and they were looking at me as if they were angry. They said they were trying to get the hell outta there and asked me what i wanted. I told them and got my car tag pretty quick. Next i had to check my email and the Wifi at the apartment was down. I knew the Sweet Peppers Deli in the Publix Shopping Center had an open WiFi so i went there and sit in my car and got a signal. As soon as I got my emails done and made a couple calls my phone starting going off again. It was my mother saying there was a tornado warning for the area and I needed to get over there to the shelter. I looked around and I had to admit it didn't look too good. It didn't look good at all and I got a weird feeling so I bolted out of the parking lot and headed home I wasn't that far from it I remember seeing how dark it was getting behind me in the rear view mirror so I sped up a little and headed over there.
This was taken from the actual Publix parking lot I was sitting in shortly after i left it
I must've slept about 12 hours because when i woke up the next morning it was 10 am. I decided to go out and see what everything looked like in the day time...it wasn't good. When I hit town it was like something apocalyptic. There were gas lines everywhere you could barely drive. Apparently in the surrounding cities there was no power so the pumps to the gas stations were turned off. Word had got out that Athens had plenty of gas and the locals were afraid people would come from other cities and take it all. You couldn't get gas. You couldn't get into a restaurant most were closed anyway. Even the almighty Wal-Mart was shut down. I managed to find a subway open that only had 4 people in line. Thank God most people in the city hate anything that's healthy. Right behind me in line there was a guy from FEMA that had came up from Georgia that morning about 2 am. The big trailer park down the road had been destroyed and they were clearing out bodies. The highway to Decatur was shut down you could only get there by the interstate. They'd let him leave early because he'd hurt his ankle. Honestly everything was so jacked up it felt like I was in a soup line it was just a bizarre feeling. I made it out to Hwy 72 and got into the gridlock again. By the time I got threw it I thought to hell with this I'm not gonna backtrack through this shit to go to the apartment I'm just gonna go back over to my parents house and see what they are doing. I headed down the country roads but even the old general store down the road from the house was back up for a mile. I worked my way through the traffic and finally got there. They'd went through the same thing in town and said to hell with it and came back home. There was nowhere you could get food nothing was open. We had some sausage left over there so that's what we ate. The tornado was all over national news.
There's had been over 150 tornadoes that night it had even eclipsed the tornadoes in 1974 to become the 2nd worst weather disaster in the nation's history. If I remember right the death toll eventually got close to 300. Most cities were still without power and wouldn't have it for days. President Obama had cancelled some meetings and was coming to the state on Friday. Until then We were declared a Federal Disaster Zone and FEMA would be moving in taking a bigger role. We got more and more info all day as we sat there and watched the video coming in from some of the carnage. All we could do was sit there and watch it everything was shut down. Then as it got into the evening there was word there would be a dusk til dawn curfew. It was getting close to dusk so I got into the car to head home. I'd heard during the day that the city of Hartselle had gotten hit too and I had a friend there so I called to see if he was doing ok.
When I got him on the phone he wasn't even in Hartselle he was in Pensacola,FL. See we were supposed to go down there before all this started but he'd had to get his daughter from down there and bring her up here for a doctor's appointment. Well when he heard about the storms coming he said screw it and just stayed down there. I was complaining about how everything was and how bad everything looked. He told me he had a free room down there with an extra bed that I should just say screw it and drive down there. I was going to be at least a 6 hour drive and I only had half a tank of gas and nowhere that I could by any. I'd never unpacked my suitcase from when we were gonna go earlier it was still in the back seat. I felt like If my Honda Civic would make it past Birmingham that I'd be able to get gas and make it to Florida. Birmingham was basically 90 miles away. Just passed Birmingham the disaster zone ended with the exception of Tuscaloosa and I felt like I could get gas easy there but didn't know for sure. Either way there was nothing for me here and I still couldn't get internet access to do my work in Texas. Hondas are supposed to get great gas mileage and I'd decided I was gonna find out how good. I got to the apartment and grabbed a few things,played with the dog, and hit the road. I didn't know if I was gonna make it I may sleep in my car but I'm going for it.
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